Proverbs 18 (ESV)
18 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he breaks out against all sound judgment.
2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing his opinion.
3 When wickedness comes, contempt comes also,
and with dishonor comes disgrace.
4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters;
the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.
5 It is not good to be partial to the wicked
or to deprive the righteous of justice.
6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight,
and his mouth invites a beating.
7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.
8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
they go down into the inner parts of the body.
9 Whoever is slack in his work
is a brother to him who destroys.
10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
the righteous man runs into it and is safe.
11 A rich man’s wealth is his strong city,
and like a high wall in his imagination.
12 Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty,
but humility comes before honor.
13 If one gives an answer before he hears,
it is his folly and shame.
14 A man’s spirit will endure sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
15 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge,
and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
16 A man’s gift makes room for him
and brings him before the great.
17 The one who states his case first seems right,
until the other comes and examines him.
18 The lot puts an end to quarrels
and decides between powerful contenders.
19 A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city,
and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.
20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied;
he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruits.
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.
23 The poor use entreaties,
but the rich answer roughly.
24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Last night was quite a night! It started out like this:
And ended with one boy angrily leaving our home, and the rest of those shoes leaving quickly, some of the owners in confusion.
Last night we had a bunch of the football players over for dinner. The weekly ‘lineman’ dinner. And somehow, every time we host it, there are some boys who appear who aren’t lineman, who aren’t invited. And that’s ok…I love having our home filled with people, so I’m happy to set an extra plate and fill a belly.
But last night, one of the uninvited guests was a boy I’ve witnessed being very selfish, entitled and has never thanked us for having him over for dinner the multiple times he’s come over to eat, uninvited. And this is very unlike the other players, who are all incredibly polite, thankful and gracious guests.
When I dished his food, he walked away without so much as a thank you. It bothered me very much, but I didn’t say anything.
However when they were done eating, the conversation grew louder and louder and a few of the boys took the conversation places aren’t even appropriate for the locker room, much less a home. With children and a lady present. I finally had had enough when I heard numerous ‘f-bombs’ and my husband said he would say something to the boys.
He went out to the boys in the dining room, and asked them in a respectful tone to please change their language, as there was an 11 year old in the house and how they were talking was not appropriate. This boy then disrespected my husband and left our home in a huff, I’ll leave out the rest of the details, because they really don’t matter Many of the boys on the other end of the table didn’t even realize what had occurred and they quickly decided to leave, realizing that something had happened between this boy and my husband.
We talked with our son and some of the leaders on the team, and they all totally understood where we were coming from and some even apologized for his behavior, not that it was their apology to make. They were frustrated and angry over the blatant disrespect their team mate showed.
Reading this verse made me realize afresh the effects of a bad attitude. How sin of our mouth and our attitude reveals what’s in our heart. And how what is there can lead us well, or cause us ruin.
I appreciate that my boys have surrounded themselves with friends who are respectful and respectable. I am proud that they have discernment about the people in their lives. And the truth of the matter is that sometimes they will be around people that aren’t those things. Whether they like it or not. But my prayer for them always is that they would be an example, an encourager, the light that shines Jesus, and help raise others up.
I am proud that my husband took a stand against vulgarity and disrespect in our home. I am proud that he let all of the players in our home last night know that type of behavior will not be tolerated. As a former player, he knows all too well how boys talk (and I’m sure he joined in in his day, too ) but I am thankful that he is willing to be bold to set the expectation for our family and our home.
I truly hope this boy’s heart changes. I will be praying for that. And if he is willing to apologize for his behavior, he is welcome to join us again for dinner. I’ll invite him myself.