What mother doesn’t doubt herself? I sure don’t know any. And I think that if we all were more open and transparent, we might realize that many of our fellow Momma-friends are living in an almost constant state of doubt.
Doubting themselves as women, mothers and wives.
Thinking that they can’t compare to how everyone else is ‘doing it all’ so effortlessly. That they don’t measure up.
Can I share one of the best things I’ve ever read? It’s a quote from Jill Savage’s book No More Perfect Moms.
“Don’t compare the insides of your marriage to the outsides of other people’s marriages. Pictures don’t tell the truth. Smiling faces on Christmas cards don’t reveal the pain behind the scenes. While your struggles are very personal and often very painful, but they are not unique.” ― Jill Savage, No More Perfect Moms: Learn to Love Your Real Life
Wow…that’s a HUGE, life altering concept to me.
Although the original quote refers to marriage, (and if you’re married, I’m sure you doubt whether you are a good enough spouse! But that’s a post for another day;) as we go through life, social media, and dare I say even Bible study and church…we women often compare what we see on the outside of other women’s lives, whether it’s a photoshopped image, the 20th selfie she took but posted the best one, or the extra splash of makeup and big smile that covers stress, worry or weariness and compare it to the chaos and crazy of our lives that only we can know.
No one wins this battle.
Not me, comparing myself to others, and then wallowing in the many ways I don’t measure up.
Not the women I’m comparing myself to…they don’t even know they’re in a competition that they didn’t sign up for.
And surprisingly, if we all shared more of our insides instead of the 20th selfie…we might all discover that we’re not in this life alone. We might hear a woman say, “Me too! I thought I was the only one!!!”
And then we can grow in relationship with women that, on the inside are just like us.
And we can all learn to doubt ourselves a whole lot less.
Because, friend, if you got up out of bed this morning, and made an effort to love your family well…you’re doing great in my book!
Stop doubting yourself. Because you’re doing just fine friend!
Embrace your chaos and crazy…because there’s a whole lot of meaning, purpose and joy out there for you to embrace.
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