Giving Up…

Did you miss me?

I sure hope you did…because I missed you!  But I have a great excuse reason!  This weekend we had ‘family’ in town.  Actually, it was my oldest son, Joshua, …by ‘adoption’!  (were you thinking I had a big secret I was keeping from you? 😉  Years ago, when we were still living in Pennsylvania, we had the opportunity and blessing to spend time with a great group of college students from Valley Forge Christian College.  The group helped run the children’s ministries at our church.  We loved these kids…like our own.  They hung out at our house, babysat our kids (for free laundry services;), dog sat, house sat, and hopefully, found our home as a safe place to escape their small campus.  A place they felt loved, valued, and appreciated.  Thinking back, I bet they didn’t feel those things as strongly as I would’ve liked.  The busyness of life, working fulltime, 3 little kids, running a home, distracted me from focusing on my priorities the way I wish I could’ve at the time.  I wish I had been so much more intentional with my time, my talents, my words, my attention.  I wish I had done more to invest in this group of young people God placed in our lives.

Enough about my regrets…

But in the next few days, I’m going to be sharing more about the visit we had with our ‘son’.  He is preparing to go to Turkey to be a missionary for the next 3 years.  3 years!!!  Turkey!!!  He’s amazing, God is amazing…I want to tell you so much more about him.  And brag on God and how He has called our precious loved one to share the Gospel on the Silk Road.  Maybe I’ll ask him to write a post to share his vision and call with you. 😉

So what does all that have to do with why I haven’t posted in days?

We were blessed to have Josh stay with us for a few days.  Before he came, I naively thought I could keep up my writing with him here.  Silly me…I should know myself better than that!  So I didn’t write…I didn’t post anything…and now I struggle to get back into the routine of writing.  I have started, and stopped so many things.  Countless projects, crafts, weight loss plans, exercise regimens, cleaning programs, get organized plans…the list goes on…and on…and on.  I think you get the point.

So as I’ve gotten out of the routine of writing and posting, my natural ‘go to’ personality response is…’You didn’t keep up with it…great job Melissa, another thing you tried, and failed at. Surprise, surprise.   You should know this is where you’d find yourself.  You don’t finish anything you start.’

Harsh…and true.  And I have a feeling a lot of you can relate to that inner dialog…a little too well.

So…here’s what I’m going to change to dialog to:

“Yup, you stopped writing…for a FEW DAYS!  It’s not the end of the world.  There’s no one telling you that you can’t ever write again.  You’re not kicked out of the #Write31Days group.  So put on your big girl panties, pull up your brave girl boots, and KEEP GOING!  There is NOTHING stopping you!  You’ve got this girl!!!”

And as I remind myself of these words, I will find freedom from the perfectionism trying to distract me from what God has called me to do in this season of my life:  Share His love, His word, His encouragement with whoever He brings to read these words that He helps me craft.  If it’s one person, one thousand, one million, I just desire to be faithful to Him as I share my perspective on the life, this side of eternity, that He has blessed me with.